DISQUS

RobynB · 2 years ago

I'm so proud of you! You have made great accomplishments this year... but most of all, you're still here. Thats the greatest of all.


People say you have to take one day at a time, but what they don't realize is that for some of us a day can be an eternity. One moment at a time is a great task at times.



You have amazing strength, Laney. Keep smiling :)

Blessed · 2 years ago

Miss U---I didn't find this depressing I found it very enlightening and inspiring!!! It shows what strength you have that you didn't know you possessed.
I am so glad you over came. I can not begin to imagine the torture and sadness of it all. But you didn't give up---reminds me of this little card that I have with this little poem:

"Don't quit when the tide is lowest,

For it's just about to turn;

Don't quit over doubts and questions,

For there's something you many learn.

Don't quit when the night is darkest,

For it's just a while 'til dawn,

Don't quit when you've run the farthest,

For the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest,

For your goal is almost nigh;

Don't quit, for you're not a failure until you fail to try."



Thank you for sharing your story.

I know how it will touch & inspire many...including me.

(And I say, too, what is 'normal'??? LOL)

BLESSINGS always!

Cherrie · 2 years ago

After reading this, Elaine, I'm almost at a loss for words. When I met you, you were a friendly face that showed up at my blog. I liked you immediately. Was it your smile, your red boa, your encouraging comments? I'm not sure, but you always made me smile, and I appreciated that.


As time went on and I read more of what you wrote, I began to appreciate the layers of complexity in your personality, the struggles you had experienced, and the close calls you'd had. And I began to admire you for your steadfastness in dealing with the difficult hand life dealt you.



And now I want to celebrate your triumph over your difficulties, and to join you in your resolution. You ARE going to have the best damn year ever in 2007! I AM going to shake you up if I see you slip (ass kicking isn't my style, and heels hurt!). And we ARE going to laugh, live and love as we never had before!



Peace and love to you, my dear!

the big one · 2 years ago

I told you then, and I'll tell you again - you're an amazing person, full of life and strength. You dealt with a hand that would have left many people lying there wondering what had hit them, and somehow, each day, you climbed to your feet and did what had to be done.


And don't sell yourself short when it comes to what you did achieve. In a dark year, you wrote a book, and how many people can say that, even in a good year? And I do remember at least one Christmas card, as well as some very special presents.



And you shone some light in my life.



Thank you for being you.



Happy New Year, Laney.



Knock 'em dead!

ted · 2 years ago

I really need to think about this one...I've been, off and on, in much the same state.....while I'm not actually suicidal, I've often pondered that the world would, at best, not even note my passing....and that, for some, it might be a better place.


I don't share that as a kind of warning or plea or anything...it's simply a recent column in my warehouse.



And....reading this post from someone whose togetherhood I deeply admire has given me great hope (for me) and joy (for you).



Thank you, kind lady....for your honesty, strenth, and admirability.

Suze · 2 years ago

I'm touched deeply by your honesty in this post. Also to hear that you were so close to the edge.]


I hope if you ever feel as low as that again you will get in touch, you have my email and MSN details.



One final thing, remember I am always here to listen. I'm so glad you managed to keep you head above water and find a purpose again.



*hugs*

Justmee · 2 years ago

I always find myself in awe, at how well you express and share your deepest thoughts and expreiences. This posting was a blessing in disguise. I will take your words, and carry with me as I tackle some of the obsticals I will be enduring in the next few months. Thank-you Elaine!

Richard · 2 years ago

I wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR for you, and your family. Keep smiling and blogging.

Karin's Korner · 2 years ago

May the Lord bless you my friend.

Fluffycat · 2 years ago

This post was awesome. I've always thought you were a very courageous person from the pictures you posted and subjects you talked about. But this is just the epitome of it. It's very hard to talk about what it feels like to be afraid that you are losing your mind, and to admit that you went there. And now are making your way back. Bravo. Happy New Year to you too!

Ali · 2 years ago

Elaine, the mere fact that you have written about these powerful emotions here tells me you have overcome far more than you think you have.


The whole entry is very touching, but the paragraph which starts...



"I now know there is a bottom. I know how very fragile my life is. I know what it feels like to lose my mind..."



had me in tears. I too know all those experiences, and when I was writing about them, you were the person that helped to save me. Did you know that? You were the one that kept reading daily and leaving me comments of encouragement and support. The one that made me stop long enough to question myself in the right way, and most importantly the one who made me believe with all my heart that I wasn't actually crazy.



You, my friend, are an inspiration to the world, and don't you ever forget it.



Have a fantastic New Year, Elaine, you deserve it.



Big Hugs. x

Dan · 2 years ago

Dear Laney, this is the best post I've read in 2007 ... yeah, I know 2007 just started. OK, it may be the best post I read in 2007. Don't blush. You poured your heart into it and you know it's good Sweetie. Take a bow.


I'm giving you a big, reassuring hug near the potatoes right now. :)



You're apologizing that this post is depressing? Are you nuts? Ooops ... didn't mean to say that ... er ... I meant to say -- are you serious? This is one of the most positive and celebratory posts ever! You are celebrating the fact that you came back from the dead. And boy are we grateful and happy. Not depressed!



Last, that potato that the surgeon was pulling out the guy's ass ... that wasn't one of the potatoes you bought, was it? And the guy in the photo wasn't Rob was it? :)



Brava Laney! And I'm so glad you're who you are. Hugs and kisses.



Now off to Snuffx.com. (Thanks Rob!)

Darfuria · 2 years ago

That was a very fulfilling and informative post.


You know, a lot of the time I really do believe, even know that you are hiding things from me. Whether you do that out of a Motherly protection, or just because you think it's best, or simply subconciosuly, I don't know.



Perhaps you don't know me as well as I think you know me, or as well as other people know me. I suppose our conversations don't go into much depth, really.



I'm not much of a question-answering person, and you're quite a question-asking person, I think. Not that there is anything wrong with that, though.



If you do want to learn anything from me, though. I know that you'd like to learn a lot about using your laptop, then I'm happy to teach you. I just don't have the time or patience for it when I'm called and expected to drop what I'm doing to come downstairs and help you with a problem you might be having when the answer is right infront of you.



I know that seems a little unfair, but it really is quite annoying when I'm right in the middle of something and I have to come downstairs and help you.



Anyway, enough with the rambling. If there's something you want to know how to do, or need explaining just ask me and I'll type it out in a Word document or something, so that you have something to refer to, and we can build you a glossary of information so that you have a lot of things to reference to if you ever get stuck.



Happy new year, Mum. xXx

Kristen · 2 years ago

I absolutely adore you, admire you, and heart you......


You give me strength....probably more than you will ever know

Shelly Rayedeane · 2 years ago

My God, that was absolutely beautiful. I love it when your passion comes out like this, you're pure honesty cuts me like a knife.


In a good way. lol.



I connected with so much with what you have said, as I also had a complete nervous breakdown in 2001 and am finally beginning to recover from it.



Damn. It only took me 5 fucking years!



And just a little advice to leave you with before I go:



Crazy people don't know they're crazy and don't have the analytical skills to question if they are. Don't you know that? lol. The problem isn't that you're crazy, it's because you're very intelligent.



By the way, I love reading the wonderful things you write.



Very few writers leave me speechless the way you do. You have such a powerful gift.



God bless you, and thank you for sticking around and sharing your precious gift with all of us.

Kitty · 2 years ago

Miss U our lives have ran so parallel during the year 2006 you wouldn't believe it! Blogland helped me tremendously. I was able to express some of my feelings that I was too afraid to express to anyone else, just getting it down and having others comment was a tremendous help to me.


I am also sitting here with my laptop while husband has his. Do you two instant message each other while sitting in the same room? We do? Weird hugh? LOL

Kitty · 2 years ago

PS BIG HUGGS FROM ME TO YOU!


You also have my email address, don't hesitate to email me for ANY reason.

kitty's tiger · 2 years ago

Hey KIDDO, If you have read any of my other comments to any of our favorite bloggers then you know I have never called any of them KIDDO. Why....you said it made you smile. Your story almost made me cry.. yeah a forty year old man just told the world I almost cried. Well you have kittys email and now you have mine KIDDO fullyerect4u2@yahoo.com.(catchy huh LOL...attention all other bloggers I will not talk to just anyone, You my dear I will always answer you if I am online..instant message or email. you always have friedns with kitty and I. Trust me she has been through hell. I have to admit I did most of it to her. And one thing I have lerned in the last few months is that love and friendship is everything. I hate my self for not being there for her. I am now. I don't want to think that someone I have become fond of as a friend needs help and I would not be there,,,,,,HERE I AM..Kitty knows that I love her with all my heart, but for gods sake if you only want some one to yell at... hell I have a lot of ass and shoulders let me have it KIDDO. God Bless you and a great new year.. NO disrespect to your significant other at all just a freind to hollar at....Please take care

thru my eyes · 2 years ago

BRAVE, BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, SMART, LOVING AND HONEST. You are all these things.
You blew me away with this post, Laney. I am so proud of your bravery and honesty, posting about this. What you have gone through made you who you are, a woman, of substance and beauty.

Sending you Hugs.

xo

TME

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

Robyn - I do try to smile as much as I can! You're right...a day is an eternity at times, isn't it? A single minute can seem like a lifetime. But those minutes do pass, and the days turn to weeks, and before you know it, they've become history.
Robyn, you know I've been a little worried about you, don't you? If you ever want to talk (or rant, or scream, or cry), you know where I am ok? (Not that this crazy girl could say anything of any bloody use!) Sending you a big hug sweetie. Thanks for being my friend. x



Blessed - The words in the poem just sums it all up really, doesn't it? Without hope, we have absolutely nothing. It was hope which kept me going...that light at the end of the tunnel. I knew it was there even when I couldn't see it. I just had to keep believing. Hugs to you (from your abnormal friend!) x



Cherrie - You will NEVER be at a loss for words! Ok...I'll go with the shake up, I didn't think about the heels...

Just for the record, I liked you instantly too. Was it your wonderful comments? Your boa? If I'd seen it at the start, perhaps it would have been your incredible smile? You've always given me great advice Cherrie, and your words are always food for thought. (Ok, sometimes your words are just food, lol.) Many times, you've unknowingly stopped my brain in it's tracks on it's journey to self destruct, and forced it to ponder something else for a while. I'm eternally grateful for that. x

kindabiz · 2 years ago

u inspire me .... yr words affect me .... u make me realize that there is Hope for all !!


woman , u made it !

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

The Big One - I'm not going to turn this comment into an essay, but I could quite easily. You were the single most important person to me through all of that time. I cannot count the hours you spent with me - talking me through panic attacks in the middle of the night, being with me each step of the way on my mobile phone from 4002 miles away when I had to go to the shops, telling me time and time again that I wasn't crazy. And how can I possibly forget the inspiration you gave me to write? Galen and Laila gave me so much hope...I poured my heart and soul into her and in doing so, she taught me so much about myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a wonderful man, a wonderful friend and for making me believe I was a wonderful woman. xxx


Ted - Although there were times I really felt like dying, I would never have acted upon them...there was always a very special lad upstairs whose mere presence in my life kept me going. It always has, and it always will. For me, beng a mother is enough to warrant my continued existence on this earth.

I'm so sorry you've had dark days too...I only hope that what I've writen helps in some way. Sometimes it's enough to know that you're not alone in your thoughts, and that others out there are going through similar things. Hugs to you Ted. Now hurry up and write that bloody musical, cos this woman's waiting to get her dancing feet on. x



Suze - I was thinking about you when I wrote this post...about what you said to me... and I think (I hope), I managed to get the right balance with it. (That'll make no sense whatsoever to anyone else, lol!) Thank you so much for offering to be there, and for letting me have that much needed rant last month. You proved right then that you're a great listener, cos I'm sure I didn't let you get a word in! Hugs to you Suze. x

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

Justmee - It's funny because when I read back over the things I've written, I always think it looks jumbled. I'll pick at it for ages, then end up saying 'sod it' and hitting the pulish button. Because I love writing so much, it's difficult for me to read back over it all without wanting to edit it in some way, so I take what you said as a huge compliment. Thank you.
Whatever obstacles you are facing in your life, just remember to take care of yourself. I wish you love, luck, and the strength to overcome them. x



Richard - I certainly hope with all my heart it's going to be a happy year for me.

There's not much chance of me stopping smiling...being surrounded by all these lovely people every day sees to that! I feel so lucky to be a part of this world and to have so much support out here. And as for stopping blogging? Not a hope in hell! This woman doesn't shut up that easily! Hugs to you Richard. x



Karin - Such a simple sentence, but filled with love. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment...it really does mean a lot to me. x



Fluffycat - I've come a long way since I started blogging in March. I can remember being terrifed of posting a picure of my shoulders, and now there's no stopping me! You're right...this was a difficult one to write...and more difficult to admit to, because there is a stigma attached to mental health problems. Yuk! I didn't even like writing those three words. Having said that, how can I possibly learn to love the person I am without admtting WHO I am? I feel no shame or embarrassment about it, although I must admit, I did at the time. I've learned that admitting there's a problem is the first step in recovery. God only knows what I'll admit to next! Hugs to you. x

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

Ali, Ali, Ali - have a tissue. x
I can't believe you said that to me...that I, in some way, helped you. It's weird isn't it? Not once did I ever see you as crazy, yet you felt you were going out of your mind. There were many times your words had me in tears...I could feel your pain and felt so bloody useless. I'm just glad that I had the opportunity to give you my take on things. There were other times I wanted to get on a train, stroll into your work place, and slap a couple of people right across the face! And of course, I wanted to give you a huge hug too.

I've always admired your strength Ali, and seeing what you were going through helped me realise that things for me could have been far worse. I'm in awe of the way you've managed to carry on and keep on smiling. And just for the record, people say that it's wrong and unhealthy to question things over and over again...but if I was in your shoes, I'd be doing it for the rest of my life, and I don't think anybody could expect anything different, or be any different.

You're a wonderful, completely UNcrazy woman Ali, with a huge and wonderful heart. I'm so glad I met you. One day, I'll meet you for real. Big Hugs. xxx



Dan - Oh God. It's people like you that this world needs more of. No tip-toeing around it! You just said it in such a brilliantly, real way, and I love you for it. x

And thanks for that hug by the potatoes...that's just what I needed. We may be there for a while though...

I love your humour and your honesty, your kindness and support. You're an amazing man Dan - I'm so glad you're a part of my life. If I'm down, I know I can come to your place and leave there with a smile.

Having said that, I may change my opinion of you if you make a habit of going to the Snufx site. You went, didn't you? Come on...how long did you stay?

Big hugs Dan - I'm glad you're who you are too. xxx

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

Darfuria - Actually, can I call you Dan on this one?
I can't read this comment without crying. You may think thats a little weird because as comments go, it doesn't instantly stand out as being an emotional one. But as your Mum, it touches me more than people could ever begin to realise.

It's going to be hard saying this without sounding patronising (and you don't deserve that), but unless you're a parent it's impossible to fully understand the crazy things parents will do to try and protect their children. I never wanted you to know how bad things were for me...it's as simple as that. No matter how old you are - 17 or 37 - I'll aways want to be someone stable and reliable in your life. I know I haven't always done a very good job of being that person, and perhaps when I let you down in the past I should have explained why. Actually, that makes perfect sense to me now, but at the time it was the last thing I wanted to do. Somehow, if I convinced you that I was alright, then I had to be.



I know I ask lots of questions...I've always been the same. Just ask Steve, I used to drive him nuts! And I'm really sorry for dragging you downstairs when you're busy...I just get so bloody frustrated when I can't do something and I know there's a genius up there who can sort it out!



Thanks for offering to help with my laptop...I really do appreciate it. People may wonder why you replied in the way you did to my entry, but it makes perfect sense to me. I know you can remember the time I got out of hospital with my face bashed up, and you lay next to me on the bed, rubbing my tummy when it wasn't even my tummy that was hurting. You were only 5, and you did the only thing you knew how, to make me feel better.

Well...you've just done exactly the same thing.

I'm so very proud of you, you know. Happy New Year to you Dan...I REALLY hope all your dreams come true this year. Let's browse through some USA flights, shall we? xxx

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

Kristen - Oh God, where do I start with you! You were the first person I found here in the blogging world whose words reached out and connected with me. By reading about your struggles and feeling your pain, you gave me so much strength. You made me feel like I wasn't alone, and that I wasn't a freak for feeling the things I did. Have you got any idea how relieved I was? Lol.
You're an incredibly brave and beautiful woman whose strength I have always admired from the beginning. You're feisty and gutsy, you stand up for what you believe, you're an incredible mother and you don't deserve to have gone through what you have. Don't ever give up the fight Kristen...don't ever let anyone put you down or make you feel bad, and don't EVER stop believing that you deserve the very best... because one day, you're gonna get it. I heart you too. xxx



Shelly - Wow. LoL.

Every time I visit your site and read through more and more of your archives, I find myself sitting here and nodding my head in agreement with you. We have a lot of similarities...from the way we think, the way we analyse, the way we don't sleep, the way we can't get to the point in a bloody conversation! We even have similarities in our childhoods, although I haven't written about that here.



You're so right about the crazy people not knowing they're crazy. If we have the intelligence to question it, then we're ok. I have spent many a time envying stupid people...the ones who think of little else than what they're having for supper and what's on the telly. How blissfull that must be. And how fucking boring!



I have a lot more to read on your site(s) which I intend to make a start on today. You're a very powerful writer Shelly and your words really do hit home for me. Thanks for all you said...I wish a wonderful and peaceful new year... to you and to that lovely brain of yours! xxx



Kitty - It still makes me smile when I think about how we got to comment on each others sites! Anyway, enough about that, lol. *wink*

I know you had a tough year...I only hope things are so much better for you in the coming one. You make sure you take things easy, and if things start getting out of hand, do somethng about it, ok? Sending you lots of love and a hug Kitty. x

ps - Rob doesn't have an IM account. Perhaps I should get him to set one up? Sounds like it could be lots of fun!



Kitty's Tiger - Fully erect, eh? Well that certainly got my attention! What a lovely, kind offer. Thanks so much for that. And thankyou for making me smile again. Kiddo kiddo kiddo...you could say that to me all day! Now...I'll say this only once. You take care of that wife of yours. I'm absolutely sure that whatever mistakes you made, you're going to be doing your best to not repeat them. And telling me you nearly cried was a breath of fresh air...I wish more men realised that it isn't a sign of weakness.

Hugs to you - for being brave enough to admit your faults, and determined enough to change them. x

Miss Understood · 2 years ago

TME - Those words you started your comment with...are you sure you weren't talking about yourself?
I've told you so many times how very special you are to me and I fear if I do it again, I'll clear the place in 2 seconds flat! They'll all be moaning: "not again..." LoL.

So I'll refrain from repeating myself, but I'll just squeeze in that having someone to feel crazy with and cry with was (and still is) an absolute godsend.

There. I haven't said that before, have I?

A big long hug to you, you adorable woman you. xxx



Kindabiz - Yay! I made it!

There IS hope for everybody. You just have to dig down deep enough, that's all. And if you can't find it, keep digging. Then buy another blody spade. Steal one if you have to. Or open a spade shop. LoL.

Hugs to you...be happy and keep smiling. x

Kristen · 2 years ago

Oh now I'm crying....you are so very special.....thank you for blogging

China Blue · 2 years ago

That post wasn't depressing at all. It was uplifting to know that you've been through all this, and are coming out the other side.


To paraphrase a quote I saw on a MySpace blog: if you are unravelling, it is because you are meant to be rewoven. I've been there, so it's not as trite as it may sound :)



xxx

Leigh · 2 years ago

You are an amazing women Miss U. You are an inspiration. You have strength people only dream of. You are truely beautiful inside and out. I look forward to many more days reading about you. You have brought me many smiles this year. Thank You for that. I have no doubt that you will achive that new years resolution of yours.

Green Eyes · 2 years ago

You know I'm thankful for you, and now I'm thankful to Blogger, not only because of what it did for me this past year, but because it was there for you.


You are an inspiration. Your spirit, your talent, your honesty and your beauty, all combine to make you a very special woman, Miss. And you have so much strength! I'm glad you realize how far you've come and just how much strength you have, but honestly, I don't think it's near as much as your blogging family knows that you have. BIG HUGS!!!

april · 2 years ago

thank you.


i've never told you how much your kind words meant to me, have i? you helped me get through a terrible, awful time in my life with your emails and i never told you. i am so sorry.



thank you for being such a wonderful, caring person.



for being you.

Saffyre · 2 years ago

Wow!! I totally missed this post before!


First of all, I am so happy that you managed to come through it all. The in itself is a measure of the strength you possess.



Secondly, you have done a wonderful job or repairing yourself. For someone who has gone through what I can only assume was your own private hell, you have always been friendly, supportive and taken time to address others problems.



You are a truly lovely person *smile*



Oh, and the jam jar thing???? WTF!!??