Your opening paragraph reminded me of a sketch a few years ago that was played on radio 1. It sort of went like this.... Arnold Schwarzenegger was having his traditional Christmas day affair with his family and they started singing "chestnuts roasting on an open fire". At which point Arnie shouted "oooh, open fire, oozy 9mm". Then the next thing you heard was a round of machine gun fire where by he distroys his house. It's kind of lost in my retelling but you'll just have to trust me on this one when I say it was really funny.
Dan
· 3 years ago
HA HA HA! Awesome! While it's not exactly Norman Rockwell's vision of Christmas, it still brought a tear to my eye. ;)
There was a glimmer of hope in this. You said "The kids are arguing because Billy has 86 presents and Amy only has 85."
Hey! At least they can count up to 86. Who knew?
arthur
· 3 years ago
Merry Christmas to you as well. you're going to hate me but we actually do the whole family get together thing-dinner, song,,,,everything. All of our sig others come as well as x's and half brothers sisters step moms and dads even some neighbors. yeah we're strange.
ted
· 3 years ago
I don't know why it is, since I've endured most of these exact things, but I still love Christmas.
I love the cheesy music and clutter; I love the noise and three-day-cooking; I love seeing the people I love to see and I love seeing the people I only see annually (even though there's usually a pretty good reason I only see 'em once a year).
I love wilting mistletoe.
I love it all. Well, maybe not the two Ronnies so much. But sick or not, I love it. Wish we had Boxing Day here.
Richard
· 3 years ago
It sure sounds like a typical christmas when there are children involved.
Dr. Psy
· 3 years ago
Holy crap, I am so freakin depressed now!!! Where the hell did I put that gun??? LOL!
Merry Christmas!
Kitty
· 3 years ago
roflmao! I've had a few christmas' like that, but I won't no more!
Oh by the way, make sure you update your link to my new blog. The first one went away thanks to blogger!
Miss Understood
· 3 years ago
Mike - I missed that one. You see, you reach a stage in your life when you're listening to Radio 1 one day and suddenly you find yourself twisting the knob to find Radio 2!!
Dan - Lol! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did I mention that little Billy is actually 26?
Arthur - I don't hate you at all - I think it's wonderful! I may have got slightly carried away writing that, but once I'd started...
I actually LOVE Christmas. It's my favourite time of year :)
Ted - Yeah, me too! So why do you guys not have Boxing Day? What the hell do you have instead?
Richard - Don't you just love 'em?
Dr Psy - Hello! Lovely to have you here. I can cope with most of what happens, but the one thing which'll make me get the gun out is James Bond. I cannot STAND him!
Kitty - If you click my link it'll take you to Kitty's musings, so it must be around somewhere, lol.
Steven Novak
· 3 years ago
That actually sounds quite a bit like my christmas's growing up! :)
Steve~
China Blue
· 3 years ago
That was a tour de force!
*applauds*
Nice to see someone loves Christmas as much as I do - we've had farting dogs, a cousin who ate all the stuffing, and my first ever row with a relative - not to mention the time I opened all the presents. I hate stupid creepy gyrating snowmen/Santas too!
Merry Christmas! xx
Richard
· 3 years ago
I had 2 boys and 2 girls.They are now in there late twenties, and they are still haunting me. :)
Justmee
· 3 years ago
I've tried reading this story at least 5 times now. And everytime I start to get into it, the phone rings, my kids need me etc. lol Finally I managed to finish reading it all.
Sounds like Christmas around here. I recall one Christmas I was so excited. Hubby handed me this good size present, and I tore right through that sucker. What is this?? Huh? He's got to be kidding.. A bread box?? At this point I'm laughing hesterically. He thought it was just the best present ever to give me. Til this day, I still find myself laughing at that stupid box.
rn_buffoon
· 3 years ago
Merry Xmas to you Miss.
After the email fight between myself and my mother lately I might even post a few of my own Christmas doozies from years gone past...
Ohh; such fond memories of screaming at each other!
Thanks for the idea!
Cherrie
· 3 years ago
Don't fall into the trap of setting your expectations too high, or trying to do too much. Leave some room in your day for quiet contemplation.
Christmas at Chez Cherrie? No relatives, just the two of us and our daughters opening presents and then spending a quiet day together, maybe playing a board game, watching a movie, walking the dogs or just talking.
It's more than enough. And it's wonderful enough.
Miss Understood
· 3 years ago
Steven - When I wrote it I was aware that some people out there would relate to it! I hope your Christmas's are a bit saner now :)
CB - Why does the dog always fart, even though he hasn't eaten a damn thing? I must admit, I do have a singing Reindeer...
Richard - And they will continue to do so!
Justmee - A Bread Box? Jesus. What the hell are these guys on? LoL.
Cherrie - That sounds like a perfect Christmas to me. I must admit this was written purely for fun, and my own Christmas isn't quite as crazy as that...
All Comments
There was a glimmer of hope in this. You said "The kids are arguing because Billy has 86 presents and Amy only has 85."
Hey! At least they can count up to 86. Who knew?
I love the cheesy music and clutter; I love the noise and three-day-cooking; I love seeing the people I love to see and I love seeing the people I only see annually (even though there's usually a pretty good reason I only see 'em once a year).
I love wilting mistletoe.
I love it all. Well, maybe not the two Ronnies so much. But sick or not, I love it. Wish we had Boxing Day here.
Merry Christmas!
Oh by the way, make sure you update your link to my new blog. The first one went away thanks to blogger!
Dan - Lol! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did I mention that little Billy is actually 26?
Arthur - I don't hate you at all - I think it's wonderful! I may have got slightly carried away writing that, but once I'd started...
I actually LOVE Christmas. It's my favourite time of year :)
Ted - Yeah, me too! So why do you guys not have Boxing Day? What the hell do you have instead?
Richard - Don't you just love 'em?
Dr Psy - Hello! Lovely to have you here. I can cope with most of what happens, but the one thing which'll make me get the gun out is James Bond. I cannot STAND him!
Kitty - If you click my link it'll take you to Kitty's musings, so it must be around somewhere, lol.
Steve~
*applauds*
Nice to see someone loves Christmas as much as I do - we've had farting dogs, a cousin who ate all the stuffing, and my first ever row with a relative - not to mention the time I opened all the presents. I hate stupid creepy gyrating snowmen/Santas too!
Merry Christmas! xx
Sounds like Christmas around here. I recall one Christmas I was so excited. Hubby handed me this good size present, and I tore right through that sucker. What is this?? Huh? He's got to be kidding.. A bread box?? At this point I'm laughing hesterically. He thought it was just the best present ever to give me. Til this day, I still find myself laughing at that stupid box.
After the email fight between myself and my mother lately I might even post a few of my own Christmas doozies from years gone past...
Ohh; such fond memories of screaming at each other!
Thanks for the idea!
Christmas at Chez Cherrie? No relatives, just the two of us and our daughters opening presents and then spending a quiet day together, maybe playing a board game, watching a movie, walking the dogs or just talking.
It's more than enough. And it's wonderful enough.
CB - Why does the dog always fart, even though he hasn't eaten a damn thing? I must admit, I do have a singing Reindeer...
Richard - And they will continue to do so!
Justmee - A Bread Box? Jesus. What the hell are these guys on? LoL.
Cherrie - That sounds like a perfect Christmas to me. I must admit this was written purely for fun, and my own Christmas isn't quite as crazy as that...
rn_buffoon - I can't wait to read them :)